11.03.06: Point of Balance

Before I headed to bed, I read the essay with the 40th card, and I have to say that all the universal messages that I am receiving right now are telling me that I am in the exact right place in this moment in time. All of the signs that I am receiving are telling me that I need to spend time learning and working on me, and that things will change in the future, but that right now, it is time to spend working on myself and waiting for change. It is quite comforting amid the chaos that is going on right now.
The morning we started out reviewing yesterday's events, and talking over the things that came up. It was great to hear the thoughts that each person had, since the first day really gets things rolling around in everyone's heads. No one really had any major struggles that were big road block type of things, but each had a bit of personal revolution that was opening doors in positive ways. We talked more about Authentic Self versus False Self, and spent quite a bit of time delving into what it means to be true to the Authentic Self in relation to other people and how that can threaten others sometimes. Christine shared the story of calling a friend of hers that lived far away when she needed to discuss and share something with her, and the friend gently saying that 'she could not be present with her in that moment' since she needed to be able to focus on getting her children to bed. At first Christine explained that she reacted in an angry and disappointed way, feeling as if she was not valuable enough for her friend to focus on her right then and there. Later she realized that it was actual an act of caring that her friend chose to be honest about the fact that she wasn't able to be present for her in that moment, and chose to wait and talk to her when she was able to give her full attention to Christine. That discussion also moved into the work place and the fact that so much of the working day is spent being reactive to situations rather than proactive, and that being reactionary creates a negative environment to function in with a high level of stress. This really struck me and I am going to have to think on this further. I feel as if much of what we deal with is so very reactionary, and we are never able to get a good handle on things to be able to proactive on a consistent basis in the office. I also think I need to evaluate situations a little slower and use the phrase 'I am not able to be present in this moment for you' a little bit more when people simply bust into my office with a 'crisis' when in fact things are either able to be resolved by them or not really a crisis.
We finally broke for lunch (that doesn't sound like we talked about much, but it was actually quite in depth and involved!) and decided to try to do a few horse activities after lunch. I suggested we revisit the observing the herd, until I discovered that all the horses were in out of the rain, presumably due to the pending thunder storms (which seem to have not materialized). So we switched gears and Anne decided that instead it would be safe enough to do some 'reflective round pen' exercises with a little bit of modification since the horses were in their stalls. Michelle and Christine both chose to work with Tali, and so Anne gave them the reflective task of opening their mind and heart to connect with Tali for a few minutes. This is a very powerful exercise and it is often very amazing what the horses will offer in such a situation. Christine spoke later than she was struggling with trying to balance letting her daughters go as they grew up and moved out of the house, and how to re-balance the relationship as they struggled to find their own place in the world but yet still hung on to their childhood a bit as well. Christine confessed that the message that she seemed to get from Tali was to "Just keep eating." Anne and I laughed knowing Tali's propensity to like to eat, and Christine elaborated that she understood the metaphor in the humor of the statement, and that she needed to work on feeding her soul and continue to grow and learn as herself once her girls were grown. It was a beautiful experience and tali really offered so much of her wisdom to both women yet in very different statements and ways. Michelle was delighted to be able to connect with Tali and be close with her touching her and rubbing her shoulders. She commented that she was reminded of their power and their grace all at once. Anne even noted that Tali put her head several times close to Michelle's stomach seeming to communicate stability and strength to Michelle. While they were able to have their reflective sessions, Storm and I had a few minutes of some really great scratches, he was itchy all over his neck and chest and face.
We returned to the house to debrief before wrapping up for the afternoon. It was a great two days, and I always am fascinated by the people that are brought together in each one of these experiences. They are so varied, and even though the information is technically the same, each time it is a different experience and different layers are revealed.
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11.03.14: Back to the Grind Stone